4 Wedding Speech Do’s and Don’ts
As a DJ who attends a wedding nearly every week, I’ve seen my fair share of the best and worst of speech-giving. The tips below are part of my compilation of speech triumphs and fails from actual speeches that I’ve encountered at gigs over the years. If you’ve got a speaking engagement at an upcoming wedding, hopefully you can pick up some speaking tips from Disc Jockey Boston.
Do
- Tell a story – This is by far the easiest way to get listeners engaged with your speech. Start with a story, then you can lead your audience wherever you like.
- Read your speech out loud – Essays were meant to be read; speeches were meant to be heard. It’s easy to write a speech and never hear it out loud before delivering. You’ll find that things sound different out loud when you’re forced to speak your punctuation. Sometimes long sentences work well on paper, but are hard to follow when delivered orally.
- Be animated and vary your delivery – It’s easy to lose focus when a speaker is monotone. Speaking in monotone is actually the way to hypnotize people. Instead, be sure to add inflection on your voice. In addition, try varying the speed and volume of your delivery, and be animated with hand or facial gestures. By incorporating these cues into your speech giving, you’ll create a much more engaging performance.
- Be brief – Even Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, which is described on Wikipedia as, “one of the greatest and most influential statements of national purpose,” was only two minutes long. It’s much easier to digest a message when it’s to the point. Especially if you’re giving your speech before dinner, the audience will appreciate your brevity.
Don’t
- Ignore your limits – If you have intense stage fright, know that about yourself and be honest about it with the person requesting you to give a speech. I once saw a speaker overcome with such emotion and stage fright that she had a friend take the mic and finish her speech half adlibbed on her behalf as she stayed up front crying and choking. It was hard to watch. If your friend is your friend, let them know about your anxiety; they’ll understand and probably be appreciative of your honesty.
- Make everyone uncomfortable – Think your metaphors through before you say them. At one wedding, a toaster said the bride and groom were, “like oil and vinegar.” Yikes! The room was silent. He spent a good chunk of time trying to walk that back. Plan ahead; don’t wing it if you plan to start a sentence with: “the bride/groom is just like…”
- This falls under the same category as insults; it’s ok, and even encouraged to make fun of the bride or groom, but in a lighthearted way. One speech giver I saw recently started by saying, “this speech is only gonna last as long as the groom can make love, so not that long” Not ok! Be playful in digs at the hosts, not mean. Ideas include mentioning dancing skills (inability) or ignorance of sports.
- Procrastinate – Nothing says, “I didn’t try” like this actual opener I heard: “I wrote this in the car on the way here.” OUCH! On arguably the most important day of your friend’s life, put forethought into the public congratulations you’ll deliver. A wedding toast is a simple combination of stories, flattery, jokes, and well wishes. Carve out an hour (tops) to write a good speech ahead of time.
- Speak drunk – You know this. I know this. It never ends well…yet it happens way more than it should. Don’t be this guy.
